Rebound sex has been used by many people who have broken up and just needed to have some kind of relief from the painful outcome. And so they might, without much thought, make the decision to just have sexual relationship with someone else. But, this may cause more problems than solve the issue and put you back in the same place where you are coming from. For most people, this is used as a coping mechanism and not necessarily as a way to get back at the ex partner. It is best to consider rebound sex as just a casual date and nothing else.
If you do it that way, than you might actually be able to move on and not get stuck on the person that you had sex with. However, before you get into it, be sure to realize that you could fall for the new person and develop a hate for the person in the past relationship. So, you are going to take this kind of action at your own risk.
As long as it is a casual hookup, you have nothing to worry about and it just might help you to shake the painful feelings and realize that there are 'bigger fishes' out there to eat. Don't do this for revenge or you may regret it and it will only harbor ill feelings that won't allow you to move on. If you are doing it to get rid of the self doubts or because you are just horny, then by all means don't hold back.
When you have rebound sex, there should be no strings attached. There should be
no intentions of doing anything else, but have casual sex. If you have gone through a
breakup, it can be devastating.
If it was a bad breakup, you could be going
through some painful feelings that are hard to shake. And for that reason, you might
want to find solace in someone else by way of having sex. While nothing is wrong with
this, you have to be careful of your approach or it might turn around to bite you.
Many people think that casual sex is the way to get over someone. If you are finding it hard to get over your ex and still want to contact your ex after the obvious non-interest, then having sex with someone else might help to distract you so you don't have to deal with additional emotional drama. Most people choose rebound sex for various reasons, but more importantly to get revenge, cope with the situation, self affirmation and to get over the breakup. This might seem as if you have the solution you need, but it might not be the case. Here is where it might help. If you can articulate your feelings to your rebound partner, explaining how you feel about the breakup and how you want to proceed without any commitment and it is clearly understood from the beginning that this is just a casual hookup, you would have accomplished your objective.
If you are going to have casual sex with someone else, then you might benefit from the opportunity to reconnect to your body and improve your self esteem, depending on whether you are having good casual sex. You have to make sure that you go into the casual relationship with good intentions. That means, you should not do it to get revenge or to prove that you have gotten over this breakup. Rather, you should hook up with someone after a breakup to reconnect with yourself and with your sexuality, allowing someone else to help you to get in touch with yourself and with your feelings.
On the other hand, it might not be the best idea to do this because you want to just escape your feelings and emotions. If you are using breakup sex for the purposes of trying to avoid those hurt feelings and if you do not explain your feelings to the breakup sex partner, then you might end up feeing empty and depleted. One thing to note, though, is that we are all humans and it might be difficult to sort through the feelings when it is happening to you and so for that reason, you might not be able to decipher exactly how and why you are having breakup sex or if you even want to do it. It would help you if you listened keenly to your body and your mind, focusing on the feelings you have before, during and subsequently after you have sex. By doing this, you will quickly realize whether you are ready to do this regularly or not.
If, after you are done having sex with the new person and you have a good feeling about it and if you decide to give yourself a little space in the interim to process what you have been through in your past relationship and you are taking care of yourself, then it means you have found a way that helps you to move on. In other words, if you still feel good about yourself after the sexual encounter, you could have already distanced your emotions from your ex and have come to grips with the experience, using it as a stepping stone. You may be showing that you are ready to embrace new relationships with other people. That is a sign of growing up and forging ahead.
Rebound sex is nothing more than having casual sex with someone who makes you feel good and possibly helps you to cover the pain from your breakup. You may be using this as a coping mechanism. If your choice for getting over your break up is to have sex with someone than eat a huge sundae, then don't despair because you are not the only one. As long as you are doing this in a positive manner and not a negative one, you should be OK. If this is consensual sex and you feel safe and have some kind of connection to your hookup, then go ahead s it might be exactly what you need as you go through the healing process. It should be quite normal to have rebound sex, if it is a tool that will get you through your pain. As long as you can move on from there, it shouldn't be anybody's business, but yours.
You don't have to be in love with someone to have consensual sex with them and you don't have to feel guilty about making a decision to seek immediate gratification to reduce your emotional pain. If you get stuck in the situation, then it becomes a problem. But, if you know exactly what you are doing and don't have any untoward expectations, but just need a little time to regroup, then casual sex is the least of your issue.
If you have ended a relationship and it is painful for you to move on, you might have feelings of being wanted and special. This might be your reason for seeking casual and consensual sex with someone else. This hookup must just be more physical and not emotional because the last thing you want is to get involved in a serious relationship right away. You should steer clear of this or it will be more challenging to move forward without being honest about what you are doing. You need time to step back and think about your future before you invite someone serious in your life after a breakup. So, if you are going to have sex after you break up, it should be a physical encounter at first.
There are a wide range of reasons why some people use sex as a way to soften the blow felt from a relationship breakup. The question though is whether you are ready to use sex to comfort yourself. What are your expectations? And are you using this to get rid of self doubt? Now, you have some things to figure out and you might even question yourself as to whether you were good enough or not. You also might worry about being alone for an extended period fo time. You may be scared to enter the dating scene again and you might feel timid about starting over. In fact, it might feel as if you have taken one step forward and one step backward. You might also feel some negative emotions such as betrayal, mistrust, disloyalty or disbelief. That is not easy to get over on your own and so you might need the distraction of rebound sex to renew your trust and belief in something or someone else. It might give you some hope so you don't have to give up on meaningful relationships; whether casual or serious.
If you are looking for something else to get your mind focused on so you don't have time to think about your ex, this might be the solution. Having sex with a new person will force you to be present and not continue to think about what happened to you in the past. In fact, you will be forced to give some attention to your rebound partner, whether in small part or not. You probably won't even have time to think about that ex, but too busy getting your groove on with your new partner.
If you don't embrace casual sex with someone new, you might have to carry around all that emotional baggage you brought from your past relationship and that won't be good for you. At least, the new sex partner will help you to mend fences with your broken heart and feel good about yourself. You might even be able to gain your confidence back and move on to have a serious relationship with someone else. So, rebound does not have to be all bad as some people think. You might even end up having a new partner who is a good listener and will allow you to vent your feelings so you can get it all out of your system.
If you are using sex as an excuse to get over the breakup or you are using it to just have casual sex as a way of revenging your ex and you don't have empathy or any consideration for the person you are having sex with, it can be said that you are being selfish. This is certainly going to backfire on you. If you are selfishly using someone else to get back at an ex by having sex, it is only fair to tell the other person what you are doing. If you take a selfish approach, then you are not going to be able to move on. You may be stuck in a rut because your actions may be hurting the person you are now with, which is the same thing your previous lover did to you. So, you are repeating the same behavior and it can become a cycle. And this is not going to help you or the other person. Even if you moved on, your negative footprints will be left behind because you wouldn't have dealt with the inner feelings of the first breakup. And it is really not cool to use someone else for your own selfish motives.
Masking your emotional hurt and pain is another reason why you would have casual sex with someone after you broke up. However, the mask must come off. If it doesn't, then you are going to be left with a lot of scars afterwards, even if you moved on from that situation. If you are doing this because you have made a concerted decision to leave your past behind, deal with the emotions and want to turn your life around to just have fun and enjoy someone else's company, you are making the right moves. So, if you have dealt with the pain and ready to get your life back, choose rebound sex as long as you are adult enough to handle it and know that it is short term only. That is how you can move on from there. Learn whether rebound sex is a good idea, if you are trying to move on with your life. If you can manage your emotions, then it might be the solution.
If you'd like to see even more amazing advice articles about all aspects of sex, click here.
Ever wondered how you can enjoy sex after an abusive relationship? CLICK HERE for more details now!