A lot more people recently have been keeping journals of all their sexual experiences; often rating each partner. Should you keep a hookup journal though? It's an interesting question.

There are a lot of reasons to keep a hookup diary, and most of them are completely valid. So long as you make sure that nobody else has access to the diary, and it's ideally somewhat anonymous (maybe you can just use first name and last initial, or first name and something about the way they dressed to identify your hookups), we don't see anything wrong with keeping a hookup journal. In fact, we think it's a pretty cool thing to do.

That's a pretty straightforward answer, but there's lots of stuff to discuss when thinking about hookup journals.

Read on, as we're going to look at the reasons why you might want to keep a hookup journal, how you can make sure that it doesn't ever fall into the wrong hands (read: any hands other than your own), and how to make sure that you're not just keeping the journal as a snarky diary, but rather as a way to improve your sex life.

When you're starting your hookup journal, you need to figure out the format, and be sure that it's not only going to be easy to read, live to tell its story years down the road, not take too long to fill out, and also be somewhat flexible so that if say 10 pages in, you decide that you no longer care about something your younger self thought was important (like maybe something like what kind of car your date owned), you can stop worrying about what kind of car they picked you up in.



Will you be keeping your journal in a physical notebook, or on your computer or phone? The ease of using your phone is most likely to make it the most appealing option. We have an odd amount of nostalgia for keeping journals or diaries in physical notebooks though. Do you remember the diaries that used to have a flimsy little lock on them that were super easy for parents or nosy siblings to pick? Something like that would be incredibly quaint to use. Physical objects are much more interesting than 0s and 1s saved the the Cloud.

 It would be a good way to improve your handwriting too.

Though some hookups may get off on finding out that you keep a hookup journal, and will step up their game even more than they were planning to, just to make sure that they get a great review, we believe that most people might have the opposite reaction. Knowing before your hook up that they're going to be getting graded for your book of conquests, they will more likely than not, tense up, and perform worse than they might have before finding out that the performance that they put on that day or night will be forever remembered in your hookup journal. Though we understand if you think that telling someone about it in advance might be a respectful thing to do, we assure you that if your intention is to keep an accurate record of the hookups that you've had, and the quality of the hook ups, you should keep the information about the journal to yourself. Maybe you can tell them after you've had sex if you're super concerned about telling them.

So long as they don't have to worry about your journal being published, and then being clearly identified by their friends based on something in your rating of them, there isn't any reason to worry about it.


Though it seems contradictory to the concerns of privacy in the above point, there's also a great potential bonus of having a record of your hookups, and if there's someone who wasn't a completely pleasant hookup, you would have a record of it, along with a description of them, their name, where you met them, etc. which you could share with your friends, in case they were to encounter them in their hook up adventures.

Your hookup journal could prove to be incredibly useful if you were to discover that you had contracted an sexually transmitted disease, or perhaps find yourself with a bun in the oven, but no idea who the father is. The journal, along with a quick check up with your family doctor could then fairly accurately help you find who would most likely be the father.


There are lots of reasons to keep a hookup journal but we think that the best reason to keep one is to track your sexual experiences, and to use the data that you compile to learn more about what you're looking for in lovers. Sometimes we have a hook up that's incredible, but over time, we discover that the memory of it has faded. The things that our partners did that drove us so wild, have been lost forever, unless we want to try and remember their name, and see if we can find them on FaceBook. Of course we don't want to do that, but a journal entry that's written shortly after the experience, so long as the journal is protected, will stick around for a long time.

You can read old entries, and look at what got 7 ratings, and what got 10s. Encourage your hookups to try out things that you only vaguely remember because of the journal, and there's a good chance that what drove you wild back then, still does.

If you're feeling scholarly, you can put all of your data into a sortable database or spreadsheet, and find out what sexual positions were most often found in positive reviews, versus those that were most often used by hookups who were given poor reviews. It might seem a bit obsessive, but if you ask us, there's one thing that you can never be too obsessive over, and that's sex. You can always be trying to both improve your performance for your partners, as well as guide them to do what it is your body most wants.

So long as you managed to keep all of your partners anonymous, we'd definitely be interested in purchasing someone's annotated hookup journal. It would make not only a great examination of someone coming into their own sexually, but also a great study guide and sexual bible for young people who are just starting to date, and want to read an honest and personal journal of someone they can relate to.

Heck! If you have a knack for writing, and you have enough great hookup stories (we're sure you probably will), you might find yourself being courted by Hollywood, looking to option the rights to your journal so that they can make a big cable television show based on your sex life. Wouldn't that be wild?

The reason that we outlined potential bad reactions to telling hookups that you were keeping a journal of all your hookups, is that there's an insecurity in the world that worries that others are saying bad things about them behind their backs. We know that men and women are both frequently found spending time with friends of the same sex, talking about their sex lives. If evidence is to be believed, women do this even more than men do. Bitch and Stitch, and Wine and Whine parties are fairly common. The former is where friends get together and dish about their lives while knitting. The latter is just drinking wine and whining.

So the fear of these (let's say men in this scenario) could think that while the hookup journal is for the most part being used as an educational tool, it will also most likely find itself in the middle of a Wine & Whine party, being read by someone who's spilled half a glass of white wine down their front, and laughed at by the rest of the group. These are experiences that perhaps would have faded over time, but with the physical record of the hookups, any truly awful hookup experience will rarely be allowed the chance to die a quiet death, and never be mentioned again.


Though it's obviously not really like the Kama Sutra at all, a hookup journal does provide you with a thorough examination of your sex life, and all of the positions you've found yourself in. Many people find that over time, their memories of their dating and sexual history fades. Think of how wonderful it would be to have a hookup journal from your youth when you're a senior citizen. Though of course many seniors have tremendous sex lives, we're confident that few of them would argue that it's not quite as action packed as it was when they were younger.


One of the biggest things that we wish was more prevalent in the world was sex positivity. Even though almost everyone has sex, and enjoys it, there's still so much prudish thinking in the media, and other places that influence the way the world looks at and deals with certain "hot topic" issues like sex. If more people were putting in the work to keep a diary or journal of their sexual encounters, there would be a healthier public attitude towards sex, and people would feel far more comfortable discussing sex when it came time to do so with your hook up partners.

Imagine having sex with someone for the first time, but you have the knowledge and confidence to tell them exactly what it is you want them to do to you; and also that you're comfortable enough to hear from them, what they're looking for from you.

Unless of course if you decide to publish a version of your hookup journal, you'll most likely want to keep it safe, and away from prying eyes. This could be done in so many fun ways, like perhaps keeping it inside a larger hollowed out book, or inside your mattress. Of course keeping a digital copy secure is a lot easier, but it's also a lot less fun. If you go the digital route, be sure to put some sort of encryption on the file, or a password that only you could ever guess.



You may not ever settle down, but statistically, you probably will. When you eventually stop your hookup journaling ways, and instead turn in your journal for a steady relationship, will you miss your journal? At what point will you know that you're logging sex sessions that you've had with the person that you're starting to think you might spend the rest of your life with?

The day that you stop journaling all of your sexual experiences, even if the sex that you just had was great, you'll probably find yourself a little restless. Your partner might wonder what's wrong. Will you tell them about your hookup journal right away? If you do, will it spook them? If you're with the right person, hopefully not. They should be curious to see the journal, and read it with you. Not out of jealousy, but because it's such an interesting part of your life before meeting them. Also, they'll be able to learn more about what you want and done want in a lover. There are so many ways that sharing your hookup journal with your eventual life-mate can strengthen your relationship, and increase the odds of you staying together.

There are so many more reasons to keep a hookup journal than there are not, to so what are you waiting for? Grab a nice notebook and a pen, and get to work!

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